No one said it would be easy

But I never thought it would be this hard ...

Christmas time has always been one of my favorite times of the year. It brings back memories of going to cut down our christmas tree with my dad at a tree farm, getting home and having my mom tell us that it is too fat ... too tall ... or doesn't have the right needles for the ornaments, decorating the tree with my mom, wrapping gifts in colorful paper with pretty bows and ribbon, watching the grinch stole christmas on tv,  and just the overall warm and tingly feeling that comes with the joy in the air.

Well this year with an almost toddler ... it seems that all of the holiday joy has been sucked away and to be honest I can't wait until the month of December is over. Here are some reasons why:

Decorating
We decided that it just wasn't practical to get a christmas tree (this is the first time in my whole entire life that I will not have a tree -- makes me very sad) because 1. Owen will be the child that takes the tree down (read previous post) and doesn't understand why he can't play with the tree since it would have been set-up in the room we play in all day everyday in and 2. We will be traveling for pretty much 2 weeks visiting family for the holidays which means the tree would be up for a week ... uggg. So this in itself has really put a damper on the holiday cheer because I feel like I am letting Owen down by not going all out for his second christmas (although his first christmas was a blur that I am not sure any of us remember it).

Shopping
Trying to figure out when to shop with an almost toddler has had me stressed out to the max. Owen is suppose to take 2 naps a day but most of the time only ends up with 1 nap. Which would be perfect right? I could get my shopping done in the morning before his nap. Well I tried this today and this is what happened. We left the house and ventured to our first store which of course didn't have what we needed but said we could order it online through the store and we would have it in two days ... an hour later and not getting what we wanted because it ended up being sold out online as well means we just wasted precious shopping time that I can't get back. At this point Owen is cranky, my arm feels like it is going to fall off from carrying around him and the diaper bag but we need to get over to the mall because I didn't make it this far to turn around and go home already. So we head to the mall go to a few stores were I have already planned out what I am getting and realize its lunch time. We head to the food court I get Owen some chicken fingers realize that I forgot his sippy cup so I get a juice box instead which he hated as soon as he had one sip realize at this point we need to call it a day to get home to Lexi and nap time. Owen is screaming in the car so I give him a bottle and because it is a 20 minute drive home from the mall Owen falls asleep ... we get home, I quietly carry him upstairs, put him in his crib realize that Lexi had an accident in his room go to pick it up and now realize Lexi has woken up Owen. OMG he can't be up already he only napped for 15 minutes total today. This is not good. Don't worry it gets better. I go to walk outside to take a few deep breaths only to find the most rancid vomit on the stairs from Lexi ... are you kidding me? So now I have an awake very tired child ... a dog that just wants to go out to the park and play ... vomit and accidents that need to be picked up ... all because I tried to do a little christmas shopping.

Was it worth it? Not in my mind. But now my stress level has reached an all-time high. When am I going to get all of our christmas shopping done (weekends are out because I am working every weekend until christmas -- need to make money some way right?) ... I could go at night but if you could even start to understand how exhausted I am by the end of the day with a baby who has not slept through the night in almost a year and has separation to the max you would understand the need to just melt into the couch once Owen's head hits his pillow ... lunch is made for Eric and I pump for the last time of the day. And I have tried online shopping but sometimes you need to go to the store to see the product. Blahhh

First Birthday?
Feel about being an awful mom. It looks like Owen's first birthday is just going to be a wash this year. I am hoping to do something in the summer maybe around the 4th of July since his birthday is 3 days before christmas and well in case you haven't caught on ... I can't really handle life right now. We will be traveling during his birthday anyway so I am just going to make sure he gets a cake and a balloon on his birthday and gets to open a present from Mommy, Daddy and Lexi ... that's if I ever get to get out of the house to go shopping.

New Years Eve
This is a time to be with those that you love and get ready to kick off the New Year. It has also always been a special time for Eric and I because before we were married December 30th was our anniversary (it will be 7 years this year -- crazy). Unfortunately this year I have to work both Friday and Saturday (New Years Eve) night. It's not ideal but I am glad I didn't have to work on Christmas Eve.

Now I know it is possible to do all of these things with a baby ... I guess I just haven't figured it out yet.  So to all of you mommy's out there that can do it all ... I applaud you. Looks like I am throwing in the towel as Owen never did fall back asleep. It's going to be a long day on a 15 minute nap. Please pray for me.